Emily’s Life

Well, I am (I think) five weeks along and the sickness has set in.  I don’t know if it’s as bad as it was last time or if I’m just not submitting to it like I did last time.  Either way, it sucks.  I don’t remember when I started to feel sick last time.  I keep clinging to the hope that maybe I’m farther along than I think.  That way, all of this sickness can be over sooner rather than later.

I’m still going to boot camp as much as I can.  Some nights, I just feel to crappy to even set the alarm for the next morning.  This makes me feel guilty of course, especially since I had an assessment with April last week and am now feeling like a big fatty who’s being irresponsible by even getting pregnant.  Oh well, I can’t live based on what April says, that’s for sure.

Jonah went all night last night with no diaper and no pee pees in the bed!  He’s such a big boy.  I was following him up the stairs to his bed tonight and I realized how grown up he’s getting.  Even in my interactions with him, I notice that he’s starting to speak like a big kid and not like a baby or toddler anymore.  He’s turning into a real boy.  I’m sad to see the little boy days go.  But I’m going to need his help with another baby on the way.  I can’t wait to tell him and to see his reaction to the fact that he’s going to be a big brother.

Well, other than the sickness, nothing else is really new.  I’m really ready to see the doctor but I still have three more weeks to wait for that.  Ugh.

Later!

I hope I’ll have the discipline to update this blog regularly.  I’d like to keep track of my current pregnancy just to have the memory of what it was like.  I’ll admit I remember very little of the small details of my pregnancy with Jonah and I really want to be able to look back on this later and remember what it was like.

I guess I can come out of the closet here on this blog since no one reads it.  I’m pregnant.  We tried for 3 weeks.  I got a positive pregnancy test on Wednesday, October 13 which makes me four weeks along.  It was surprising.  Since then, it’s all kind of sinking in.  I think I’m more nervous this time around than before only because now I know what having a baby entails.  I know what awaits me at the end of these forty weeks.  I know that I’ll have all that to do, plus what I already do for the sweet boy I already have.   I can do it.  Mark and I can do it.  Together.

So, at this point, I’m not really feeling sickly or anything.  Mostly, just tired.  Interestingly, I feel like I’ve been cranky.  I don’t remember that from last time.  Who knows.  I’m afraid people think I’m too fat to get pregnant.  Like, I’m not healthy enough for it.  I never wanted to be one of those people who, halfway through the pregnancy, people still don’t realize you’re pregnant because you look basically the same as you always do.  I’m even paranoid that my work out instructors think I’m just trying to get out of working hard at boot camp.  How freaking crazy is that?  It’s crazy.  Maybe I’ve gone down on my meds too much too soon.

I’m ready to see what’s in there.  It’s like opening a present and not knowing what awaits under the wrapping paper.  I’m so ready to see it.  I hope that it’s doing well in there.  That being a part of me hasn’t driven it crazy yet.  That I’m being a good hostess.  Alas, I have to wait until November 19 to see my little friend.  Patience has never really been a quality I would say that I have.  I look under the bed for the Christmas presents.  It’s frustrating to be in a spot where I can’t take some action to find out what I want to know.  I can usually figure out a way to get the information I want in most circumstances but this is just a brick wall.  And it’s frustrating.  I think I’ve taken six pregnancy tests so far - just to make sure.  Between now and November 19 is a lot of sticks to pee on.  I guess I should go get some more….

I made it through a whole week of bootcamp! 

We were inside again yesterday since it was so cold outside.  We did some sprints and then a ton of aerobic activity and weightlifting.  Holy crap!  Trying to hold all of your weight on one arm is hard!  We did a bunch of stuff but for only like 1 or 2 minutes at a time.  Tough stuff.

I’m hurting in my butt today as well as my triceps and my quads (as usual).  I think I’m making very slow progress.  Of course, I wish I could be tan and have muscles and a flat stomach after one week…..but of course, that’s not gonna happen.  I’m impatient like that.

I’m glad that I am forced to get up and do this three times a week.  I realize that no matter what I tell myself or how much I think I want to get up and exercise, it’s not gonna happen on my own.  I have promised myself every non-bootcamp day this week that I would go for a walk/run.  Have I done it?  Nope.  The mind is strong but the body is weak. 

I think another thing that helps me is that I know people in my class.  In some ways, I feel accountable to them to show up every time.  I need accountability in every area of my life so having those people there and knowing I’m doing it helps. 

So, I guess there’s my pep talk to myself for this week.  I’m glad I signed up for this…regardless of how freaking hard it is while I’m there.  I feel good about myself for doing it.  And I haven’t felt good about myself for anything in a long, long time.  A friend in class with me told me yesterday at work that she thinks I’m walking taller.  Maybe I am.  Maybe I feel a little taller.  Or maybe I’ve just stretched my muscles to the max and that’s why I’m taller.  :)  Either way, I think I’ll keep going with it.

Em

I was going to post yesterday but my fingers were too sore to type that much.  I spent most of yesterday walking like I had a pole up my butt.  It was lovely.  This morning I woke up expecting to have even more trouble walking but I actually felt better - less sore!  I could actually sit down on the toilet instead of stand over it.  Hallelujah!

I got right out of the bed at 4:45 this morning.  That in itself is a feat for me.  I was out on the road at 5.  Today it was very cold outside and anything under 30 degrees gets us a trip inside.  We worked out in the gym(s) inside the YMCA. 

Since we were inside with less of an expanse to run, we did some aerobic type exercises longer than we did on Monday.  I was pleased with this because I’m better at walking in place than walking distances.  Of course, the aerobics came to an end too soon and it was time to…guess what…RUN!  We had five laps around the big gym to do.  Let me just say that I ran one and a half laps around that gym.   I’m sure that’s nothing to most people but for me, it’s something to be proud of.

After the dizzying run around and around the gym five times, we went back up to the other gym where we had to do caterpillars.  Ok.  Let me tell you what this is.  Basically, you bend over and walk your hands out so you’re in a mens pushup position.  Then, you lift your left hand off the ground, supporting yourself with one arm and both legs and then you put the left hand down and do the right hand.  The distance that we had to do these was a gym width.  Ouch.  After that, we went back to the mat and did a series of three weight lifting activities.  After those, back to the big gym for five more laps.

It pretty much went like that for four cycles.  Run, caterpillar, oh, they added jump rope in after the second time, and then weights, pushups, crunches, etc…. 

So, what was different this time?  Well, for one thing, I WASN’T LAST!!  I know it shouldn’t really matter but for me, it felt good not to be last.  Secondly, it felt a tiny bit easier today.  I don’t know whether that’s because we were inside and the running was a little less traumatic or if I’m just getting used to the pain and misery.  Since my legs have been so sore, I tried to really make an effort to work out my upper body.  Let me just tell you that for me, working the upper body is so much easier than the lower body.  I just seem to do it better with it.

So, I made my rounds and did all the running (walking) and other exercises and although I was tired and sweaty at the end, I felt good.  I felt good for making it there and for actually doing it - again. 

I have songs that I play in the car on the way to and from bootcamp.  That seems to help get me in the mood.  Today I had no headache (I premedicated), I ate a little before I left the house, and I didn’t get back in the bed to go to sleep when I got home.  

I think today was good for me.  I needed some kind of encouragement that this was doing something for me.  At this point, I’m not really noticing anything it’s doing to my body (except making it sore ) but I am noticing what it’s doing for my mind and for me, the mind is usually stronger than the body so I’d say it’s a good start.

Now, I just need to work on my squats.  My butt doesn’t know how to stick out that far.

Have a great day!
Em

So, today I started bootcamp.  Not military bootcamp, of course, just exercise bootcamp.  However, I think I could liken it to Paris Island.  Anyway, I thought I’d try to chronicle my experience at bootcamp here just for anyone interested but also for myself to look back on later.

So, today was day 1.  My class is at 5:30 am.  I woke up every hour last night checking the clock so I wouldn’t oversleep.  Finally, at 4:45 the alarm went off and Mark rolled over to swat me out of the bed but I was already up before he could catch me.

I arrived early…which is uncommon for me.  Go figure, there’s not much traffic to contend with at 5 in the morning. 

I saw all the other ladies getting out of their cars with their cute workout attire.  Did I mention it was 30  degrees?  We were all bundled up in multiple layers of workout clothes.  Me?  I was just trying to keep my stomach from sticking out too far for anyone to notice it.  I prayed no one would ask me if I was preggo.  They didn’t.  Thank you God.  I owe you one.

So, as I stood on the field of the YMCA waiting for class to start, my body and my brain began to converse.  Here’s a snippet:

Body:  ‘It is freezing out here and it is 5:30 in the morning.  Are you crazy?  This is a time for sleep, not standing around in a field sucking in your gut, and trying to keep warm.’

Brain:  ‘Shut up.  We need to do this so you won’t have to suck in that gut.’

Ok, so everybody gets there and April (the instructor) turns on the music and we start doing some exercises.  I am so good.  I’m thinking, ‘man, I can do this.  No problem. Check me out.’  All the way through the jumping jacks and the stretches and the lunges I went.  Not quite perfect form, but darn close….or so I thought.  Plus, I’m barely winded.  I must be in better shape than I thought.

Just as I was starting to feel great about doing this, the activity changed.  The chapel loop began.  O M G.  Let the running begin.  I started off at a jogging pace.  Didn’t want to look too bad in front of all the other runners (some of them marathon runners).  Of course, my run soon came to a walk.  That’s ok, there’s some people I know walking, I’ll walk with them.  Only, they’re walking fast!  No fair!  So I’m barely catching up with them. 

I’ll spare you the rest of the run/walk.  It’s basically more of the same as above.  Fast forward to the next activity which is a series of exercises you sort of rotate through.  So, you do a big skip, actually skipping but pulling your legs up really high as you do it.  Then, you stop to do something - I can’t even remember what it was but it was painful.  Then more skipping, then more something excrutiating that I can’t remember.  Then, guess what?  MORE RUNNING.  Or walking, for me.

Right about this time the brain and body start conversing again.  Some conversation:

Body:  ‘What is wrong with you?  Are you crazy?  Why are we doing this?  It’s cold, and we don’t like to run.  Remember?’

Brain:  ‘Whatever.  We are doing this and that’s final.  It’s fun.  People you know are here.  And look at how good they look!  You wanna look like that, don’t you?’

Body:  ‘Well, yeah.  I see your point.  But isn’t this a little over the edge?  You know, I can make her throw up if you don’t watch it.’

Brain:  ‘Fine.  Slow down a little.  But we’re staying!

So, I continued to huff and puff through more running (walking).  I went through what was to be my last set of skippy, lunge things when I hit bottom.  One instructor kept coming up to me and telling me every single thing I was doing wrong.  I’m sure she was just trying to help and to save my knees from eternal damnation.  But at that moment, I wanted to spit in her face and tell her she was lucky I was still vertical.  Of course, I didn’t do that.  I just fought back tears as I felt like I could have burst into sobbing right there.  I barely made it through that last ‘leg’ but I did make it, only to run (walk) more.

I finally got back to the pack where I then had to lift weights in various positions and then, guess what?  Run (walk) some more!  I was dragging by this time.  I made it back around to the pack again where I had to do more weight lifting and various crunch and push up type things.  I won’t say that I did 20 reps of everything but I did do at least some of everything.

The light at the end of the tunnel began to show.  Cool down.  We did pilates moves that I could barely contort my exhausted body into.  We did get to sit and lay on our mats during this time and I didn’t even care that I was doing crunches or lifting my leg in an ungodly position.  I was laying down! 

Other people were starting to leave and I couldn’t very well just stay there on the ground so I hauled myself up.  As I got up, the headache hit.  Oh my.  Am I allergic to exercise or something?  It hurt so bad.  But really, in the scheme of things, it’s a small price to pay.  I drove home, the streets still dark.  Maybe there were one or two lights on in the houses I passed as people started to get up for their days.  I felt a sense of pride that I had been up and I had run myself ragged before most people even brushed their teeth.  Uh, sadly, as soon as I got back home, I crawled in the warm bed and snoozed for just a little while.  My dreams of having coffee and leisurely showering and reading the paper all before work were dashed.  Maybe next time.

Final verdict:   Did it hurt?  Yes.  Was I embarrassed?  Some of the time.  I was tired, sore, and a little down about my pathetic performance.  But, I did it.  And, I’ll go back again on Wed., hoping to improve slowly so that one day maybe I won’t be last.

Now, I need to go soak in a hot bath so that my legs will move tomorrow.

Em

So, Jonah is basically potty trained.  He wears a pull up at night but other than that, he pees and poops in the potty all the time.  However, he does not wipe his own butt.  Let me set up the scenario for you.  Jonah yells throughout the house, ‘I need to go potty!’  We tell him to go to the bathroom, which is the sensible thing to do, right?  He goes.  Then, five or ten minutes later we here the dreaded words…’I need someone to come wipe my hiney!’  Usually, he has a preference…and luckily, it’s his daddy.  Heh.  Anyway, my point is, when is a kid old enough and limber enough to wipe his own butt?  I mean, honestly, at this point, I just don’t see it happening with any kind of quality.  I don’t really mind low quality but I do mind the spread of germs that come from poop that a little boy would probably get on his hand trying to wipe his butt.  I don’t know.  Maybe it’s just one of those things that happens and I shouldn’t be so uptight about it.  Me?  Uptight?  Ha.

Now, I could go on to talk about pee and distance and not waiting until the last of the pee comes out before pulling up your pants….but I think I’ve done enough damage.

So, I’ll leave you with a picture of the silly boy who is the subject of this post.

Do you have questions about the ins and outs of our little lives?  Questions about Jonah?  Just leave me a comment and I will happily answer to the best of my ability.

What is that face about?

Em

Hello out there in blogger world. This is my first post so let me tell you a little about myself. I’m a 32 year old mother of one 3 1/2 year old and stepmother of one 10 year old. My husband is a computer programmer for a hospital and I also work at. I’m a health educator turned computer analyst. Our life is sometimes funny, sometimes, boring, and always a little crazy. My son is a wild hellion but I love him to death. He is my world. I hope to use this blog to keep a note of all the weird, funny, and special things that happen in our lives.